💔

Setiap kaki melangkah, masih ada kamu.

Ke mana sahaja aku melangkah, masih ada bayangmu.

Di mata ini, masih nampak kamu.

Hanya kamu.

Setiap nafas yang dihela dan dihembus, masih untuk kamu.

Tak pernah berubah. Walau sesaat.

Tapi...

Langkahku,

Mataku,

Nafasku,

Semuanya tak bererti untuk kamu.

Yang kamu tahu dan mengerti hanyalah..

Langkahmu,

Matamu,

Nafasmu,

Bukan untuk aku.

Ye, bukan untuk aku.

Aku Sayang Dia 2

Selesai je solat.. aku diam. Diam membisu. Hati ini hancur. Hampir setiap masa aku luahkan padaNya. Bosankah Dia?

Perlahan, aku menadah doa. Aku berdoa seperti biasa. Tiba-tiba aku terdiam. Seolah hilang semua perkataan dari mulut aku. Aku terus letakkan kedua tangan aku di muka. 

"Allah.." 

"Allah"

Hanya nama itu yang mampu aku ungkapkan. Berulang dan berulang. Sehinggalah...

"Terima kasih ya Allah.. terima kasih. Kau hadirkan dia dalam hidup aku. Aku bahagia ya Allah. Aku bahagia.." Airmata mulai membasahi pipi aku.

Ungkapan terima kasih aku padaNya tak berhenti.

*******

Aku sayang dia. Sikit pun aku tak menyesal membenarkan dia masuk dalam hidup aku. Dia memberikan aku kebahagiaan yang sebenar. 

:(

Setiap saat yang berlalu amat menyakitkan. Masih ada cinta daripada dia.
Masih ada sayang dia.
Masih ada rindu dia.
Tapi, aku tak kuat. Tak kuat untuk menghadapi hari itu.
Sampai detik ini, rasa sayang dan cinta aku untuk dia tak pernah kurang. Tak pernah.

Tolong aku.. Aku tak tahu nak buat ape.

Aku Sayang Dia

Last night, I just sat on the sejadah. My hands were shaking. I lifted my hands to pray. And I couldn't utter any word.

I kept looking the sejadah.

"Ya Allah..."

Tears raced down my cheeks.

"Aku sayang dia.. ya Allah.."

"Aku sayang dia..."

"Aku sayang dia..."

"Aku sayang dia.."

I kept saying those words. Repeatedly. Non stop - in my prayer.

No other word.
Aku sayang dia.

The day you...... (Part 1)

I still remember the day I snapped this picture. It was the day she got enggg(sorry I couldn't type it 💔) . It was hard. 

That morning, I went out. Just to get myself prepared for the event. I drove my car, slowly.. like a tortoise. I didn't know where to go. And, the car brought me here.

I looked up the sky. Looked at the sea. Empty. It was all empty inside me. I burst into tears. Why? Why?

I just spent my time in the car - did nothing. I didn't know what to do. 

Tried to gain, tried to find just a bit of strength to face it. But, I couldn't find it. Deep inside, I was disappointed, I died.

Then, I took a deep breath and drove  toher house. I walked slowly and entered the house.

"Where did you go?",she asked me.

"Just go to somewhere.."

"Mother is looking for you. Asking bout you. Why did you go out.. Mother said you are not happy"

"And you know why.."

I remained silent. Didn't talk too much. Acted like nothing was happening. Seemed like everything was fine. But the truth was.. I had to hide my pain. It was hard. Again, it was really hard.