The day you...... (Part 1)

I still remember the day I snapped this picture. It was the day she got enggg(sorry I couldn't type it 💔) . It was hard. 

That morning, I went out. Just to get myself prepared for the event. I drove my car, slowly.. like a tortoise. I didn't know where to go. And, the car brought me here.

I looked up the sky. Looked at the sea. Empty. It was all empty inside me. I burst into tears. Why? Why?

I just spent my time in the car - did nothing. I didn't know what to do. 

Tried to gain, tried to find just a bit of strength to face it. But, I couldn't find it. Deep inside, I was disappointed, I died.

Then, I took a deep breath and drove  toher house. I walked slowly and entered the house.

"Where did you go?",she asked me.

"Just go to somewhere.."

"Mother is looking for you. Asking bout you. Why did you go out.. Mother said you are not happy"

"And you know why.."

I remained silent. Didn't talk too much. Acted like nothing was happening. Seemed like everything was fine. But the truth was.. I had to hide my pain. It was hard. Again, it was really hard.

Will You Ever Understand?

I dont think you will ever fully understand
how you have touched my life
and made me who I am.

I dont think you could ever know
just how truly special you are,
that even on the darkest nights
you are my brightest star.

I dont think you will ever fully comprehend
how you have made my dreams come true
or how you have opened my heart
to love and the wonders it can do.

You have allowed me to experience
something very hard to find;
unconditional love that exists
in my body, soul and mind.

I dont think you could ever feel
all the love I have to give,
and I am sure you will never realize
you have been my will to live.

You are an amazing person,
and without you
I dont know where I'd be.

Having you in my life
completes and fulfills every part of me.

-toni-

Sayang, there are no words could ever describe

how much I love you.

Bukit Tinggi - 14.04.18

I still remember the date, the day. This is the place that she really wish to go - Bukit Tinggi.

I want to be the best for her.. and I want to give the best for her. I booked the hotel and planned our special trip. 

And.. I still remember her face, her reaction when we reached here. The best part when I said to her that we will stay a night here.. It still in my mind. She cries tears of joy. She hugs me. Thanked me for bringing her here. No one ever do that to her. 

We had our moment here. She is happy. I am happy. We both happy. 

I love her. Everyday, every hour, every minute, every second.

She is the best. The best I ever had.

I LOVE YOU, SYG.

Hari berganti hari. Bulan berganti bulan. Rasa sayang dan cinta terhadap si dia tidak pernah pudar walau sebesar kuman.

Walaupun hampir setiap hari kami berjumpa.. rindu itu tetap ada. Aku sendiri pun tak tahu kenapa si dia ni tersangat istimewa. Tak pernah aku sayang orang macam dia. Tak pernah.

Bila hati dah sayang.. aku ade satu perasaan takut. Aku takut kehilangan si dia. Fasa hubungan kami sekarang - menghitung hari. Aku akan hilang dia dalam hidup aku. Hilang yang mungkin takkan kembali. :(

Sayang. Anugerah terindah untuk aku. Yang terbaik dalam hidup aku. Hilangnya dia.. hilanglah jiwa hidup..

:)

Di sini jugaklah tempat yang terbaik untuk meluahkan segala perasaan. Bukan mencari perhatian orang.. tapi sekadar luahan hati. Yang mana, orang di luar sana takkan pernah faham apa yang kita rasa, kita lalui.. Di sini, aku boleh menulis apa yang aku suka - gembira, marah, dendam, maki. Semua boleh.

Bagus jugak ade blog ni.

Kang nanti luah kat fesbuk, ceritanya jadi lain.

Luah kat ig, lain pulak ceritanya.

So, kat sini jelah yang terbaik.

p/s: pantun untuk kekasih hati..

Hutan belantara sanggupku rendah,

Mencari intan permata berlian.

Tiada yang paling terindah,

Melainkan awak, sayang.

Salam Aidilfitri 2018

Masa pantas berlalu.. 2018 merupakan tahun ketiga aku dan Queen sambut raya bersama (walaupun jasad tak bersama). 

Berada kat tempat orang ni, dengar je lagu raya.. macam hari tu jugak nak balik kampung. Nasib dekat ngan cinta hati. Terubat jugaklah rasa rindu tu.

#Flashback bulan puasa jap

Puasa tahun ni.. Alhamdulillah.. boleh aku katakan hampir tiap hari dapat rasa masakan Queen. Sanggup dia masak untuk aku. *terharu weiii* Kadang beli barang sama-sama.. kadang dia beli sorang. Tunggu je aku datang rumah dia. Allahu, alangkah bahagia andai si dia dapat aku jadikan peneman hidup. 

Dan sepanjang bulan puasa ni jugaklah, aku tidur rumah dia. Padahal rumah aku ngan tempat kerja tak sampai 5minit.. tapi demi dia, setengah jam sanggup aku redah nak gi kerja. Petang pulak terus ke rumah dia. Ni lah rutin aku.

Okay dah flashback.

Dah terbiasa ade orang ironkan baju.. bila raya, kena iron baju sendiri. Haha adoiii.. tibe-tibe jadi tak pandai iron. Terima kasih sayang, jaga makan minum saya, pakaian saya.. Sangat terasa bila sayang takde kat sisi. Walaupun beraya bersama family, tapi lagi indah kalau kita semua dapat beraya sekali. 

Selamat Hari Raya Maaf Zahir dan Batin semua!

Maaf andai ade salah silap selama perkenalan kita.

Yang mana kenal, nanti jom lepak raya.

Buat keindahan nur saya..

Semoga kita dapat beraya bersama lagi di tahun depan.

Saya sayang awak. Sangat.

1404 - Our Day

April yang lepas, aku ajak dia teman present project aku kat KL. Petang Khamis kami terus gerak ke KL sebab esoknya kena present. Dalam perjalanan tu, ade la sikit gaduh.. sampailah kat hotel, muka masih masam. Dah cek in semua, aku turun bawah jap amik barang then naik balik. Aku ketuk pintu bilik. Terus dia bukak.

"Happy Birthday!" sambil bagi kek kat dia. Chocolate indulgence. Her favourite. Pastu, terus sambung merajuk.. ^^"

Padahal birthday dia hari Sabtu tapi takut tak sempat nak celebrate so bagi jela awal2. Malam tu, sepi.. krik3. Tak seronok. Then, we had a talk. Alhamdulillah, the problem settled!

Esoknya terus check out sebab nak ke tempat conference. Tapi bendanya malam so aku ajak dia pusing KL. Dia tak tahu nak gi mana.. (good! because I have my own plan). Then, terus aku bawak kereta menuju Genting Sempah.

GF: Kita nak gi mana?

Me: Saje, jalan2.. tadi tak tau nak gi mana kan...

We had our lunch at Genting Sempah and continued our journey. Dah melintasi signboard "Bukit Tinggi".. dia terus... "Kita nak gi Bukit Tinggi ke?" And I just smiled..

And yeah! Kami ke Bukit Tinggi! Ape yang paling aku bahagia bila tengok reaction dia bila sampai Bukit Tinggi. Sebab ni lah tempat yang dia nak sangat2 pergi. Aku terus ke tempat parking. Dupdap dalam hati Tuhan je yang tahu.

GF: Sempat tak kita ni?

Me: Sempat.. kan present malam.. 

Dah setel parking.. aku cakap kat dia

Me: Best kan kalau tidur sini?

GF: *angguk* best

Me: Kalau gitu.. jom amik beg.. kite tidur sini..

GF: *looking at me with surprise* 

Me: Iyeee.. kite tidur sini.. Nak tak?

GF: Nakk.. abes present tu?

Me: *take a deep breathe* HAPPY ANNIVERSARY & HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAYANG!

GF: *speechless* 

And then, she was crying and crying and crying. Dia tak terfikir pun aku akan bawak dia datang sini.. dan ye, pasal presentation tu semua tipu. 

This is for you, sayang.. Kebahagiaan awak, kebahagiaan saya. Terima kasih untuk 2 tahun kita bersama. Apalah sangat hadiah dan kejutan tu kalau nak dibandingkan besarnya cinta dan sayang awak. Semoga kita masih dapat sambut anniversary kita yang ke-3 tahun depan. I LOVE YOU!