It's just hard to breathe.
Knowing everything you have ever wanted get destroyed.
This pain.. can't be put to words. Never.
The kind of heart break that destroys your will to live, that forces you to bury yourself under rocks and makes you doubt your existence.
I can laugh and joke during the day but I'm not happy either - I feel like I forget how it feels to love, to be loved.
Pretending I am the happiest person on Earth in front of everyone, it gets tiring. Sometimes, I have to put on fake smiles while hold back the tears - pretending that everything is okay.
It is tiring to say "it is not a big deal", "head up", "stay strong" and "move on".
But I guess..
Pain is the only thing that make me feel like I am alive, right now.
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